Sara vs Natalia
by sara-rocks
Summary: Kind of a crossover Sara/Other Natalia/Other Catherine/Wendy Catherine/Sofia Femmeslash all the way, don't like it, don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own any of these characters, although I wish I did...

AN: Please read and review.

I was hiding out in Catherine's office, checking my emails and waiting for Grissom to come find me. It had been three years since I'd been in Vegas but here I was, waiting to start working back where I began. Things in Miami got too complicated, and Cath wanted me back home anyway; close by during Lindsay's difficult teenage transition. According to Linds, she misses me a lot and that's why she's acting out. Let's hope that she settles down now that I'm back. I was starting to get a little nervous; knowing that there'll be mixed reactions among the team here at work. Being a CSI is all I've ever known and it's one of the most rewarding and challenging jobs I can think of. Of course, I got into it because my cousin trained me to be one of the best, and following in her footsteps is the most positive thing I've done in my life, if not the only positive thing. Shifting between homes as a child and teenager showed me the wonderful life of drugs, alcohol and abuse. All which were left behind when Catherine tracked me down after learning of my existence.

I spent my first four years as a CSI here in Las Vegas, working with the best team I have known. Of course there have been many changes in the last three years since I left, and then there have been some things that according to Catherine, haven't changed. Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown are still the same, Greg Sanders however has moved up from DNA lab tech to out in the field, Gil Grissom is still the same old supervisor with his love for bug. Lastly, Sara Sidle. Sara has gone completely downhill since I left apparently. This news broke my heart, I feel like I may somewhat be responsible, seeing as the reason I left was because of her. According to Cath, Sara had resorted to drinking excessively, was caught driving under the influence, has blown up a lot and just seems completely down and depressed.

_Three years earlier..._

"_Rachel, I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I know you have such strong feelings for me, but I'm just not ready to trust myself yet," the brunette said, standing on my doorstep at 2 am._

"_You mean you can't trust __**me**__, Sara?" I retorted back._

"_No, I don't mean that, I mean me. You don't know what my past was like, you couldn't possibly understand," Sara was almost crying._

"_How do you know what I would or wouldn't understand, you won't let me in to __**try**__ to understand! My past hasn't exactly been picture perfect either you know. You don't _

_know anything about me so you wouldn't know what I would understand. What hurts the most is I know that you care about me, I know that you love me and I love you, but you won't let me in."_

"_I'm sorry," Sara said then walked away. The next day, I was on a plane to Miami, hoping there was a job there for me._

AN: Reviews please!!


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Rachel, welcome back," Grissom walked into Catherine's office, a smile on his face. I've always had a soft spot for the older guy, kinda like the father I never had.

"Hey Gil, thank you," I held my arms out and gave him a hug.

"Ready to announce the news to the team?"

"Nervous, but here goes," I smiled.

"Don't be nervous, they'll all probably just wanna know where you disappeared to and why, but they're good people, they'll understand," Grissom reassured me. I had kept in touch with Grissom during my absence, relying on him for advice and reassurance whilst Cath was good for the gossip.

"You're probably right, well, here goes," I took a deep breath and followed Grissom out to the break room.

"Oh my god, she **is** still alive," I heard as we entered into the break room where the team was waiting for assignments. I smiled at Nick, who jumped up as he said that and rushed over to me, "Give me a hug girl, damn." I threw my arms around Nick and gave him a big hug; we used to be pretty tight before I left.

"Hey girl, where you been?" Warrick was right behind him, practically pulling Nick off to get to me for his hug.

"Hey guys, wow, I've missed you," I said, my nervousness slipping away.

"Look at you! All hot and tanned, damn man!" Greg flirted, knowing all too well I'd ignore it.

"And look at you, all grown up with the big boys now," I teased back and gave him a hug too.

I looked across to the table, Sara still sitting there just staring at me, like she couldn't believe if I were real or not. I gave her a warm smile and walked over to her.

"Hey, I'm real," I whispered, reaching out for her hand.

"You're back," Sara whispered back, grasping my hand tightly.

"Yeah, I'm back. Have you got a hug in there somewhere for me?" I asked softly, knowing I'm the only one to get away with any physical contact with her in public. She jumped up and flung her arms around me, embracing me tightly as if I was going to run again.

"I missed you," she whispered in my ear shakily before releasing me and rushing out of the room. The boys and Catherine all just looked at me and smiled. I smiled back before excusing myself to go search for Sara. I found her outside sucking on the 

end of a cigarette. I just stood there and watched her, admiring her. I noticed the black circles under her eyes, evidence that she's not sleeping. Her whole body, although gorgeous, looked tired and like it wants to just give up. The sadness in her eyes shows me that she is truly unhappy. I made my way over to her, pulling my own smokes out of my pocket.

AN: Review please


	3. Chapter 3

I stood next to her and lit a smoke. She looked up in a panic, obviously she hadn't realised I had followed her out.

"Hey," I said, looking straight ahead out onto the car park.

"Hey," Sara replied, relaxing a little.

"What's happened to you Sara?" I asked softly, still not looking directly at her. I saw from the corner of my eye that she was unsure of what to say.

"You left," she replied finally.

"So you treat yourself like shit?" Sara just shrugged her shoulders, "No Sara, you can't pin this down to me. I sent you emails for the first year I was away, you knew where I was and how to get a hold of me, but you didn't even reply to any of them, not even to say hi. What is it with everyone blaming my leaving for how crappy their lives have turned out? First Lindsay, now you?" I was getting a little bit annoyed with the women I know in my life.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I don't blame you leaving for my crappy life. I just meant that it was something I didn't handle too well. I don't understand why you left," Sara sat down, leaning against the wall. I glanced to the entrance to the lab and hoped it was a quiet night before sitting down next to her. I took a hold of her hand in mine, linking our fingers together.

"Sara, I don't know if I can explain why I left very well. It all comes down to habit. All my life I've been running away when things got hard or complicated, I've even run away from Miami because things got too much," I sighed, looking into her eyes for the first time since I came outside. I saw a little twinkle, but it was gone before it had even came.

"What are you running away from?"

"I caught my girlfriend in bed with one of our colleagues. Nothing major really," I laughed then sighed.

"Shit Rachel, are you serious?" Sara looked shocked.

"Yeah, it didn't affect me too much, I mean, that relationship was just a convenience. She had always been in love with this other girl and yeah, things finally looked up for her," I shrugged.

"But still, did you love her?" Sara said softly, looking down.

"It doesn't matter Sara, like I said, the whole relationship was just a convenience."

"It matters to me," she whispered, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Why? Why does it matter Sara?" Before she had a chance to answer, Nick called out to us that we had a case. Guess this conversation will have to wait until another time.

"Rachel, have you finished putting those papers back in order yet?" Catherine walked in holding a file. I stood up and stretched my back. Bending over the layout table putting shredded papers back in order is one of my least favourite things to do.

"Not yet, you come to help?" I smiled, knowing I was wasting my time asking.

"Hmm, let me think about that, ah, no!" Cath smiled. I pouted and returned to the papers.

"I hate you," I muttered.

"You love me, but I'll tell you what, I'll get you a coffee and a sandwich, how does that sound?" Cath laughed.

"Ham and salad?" I smiled.

"Ham and salad it is, I'll be back, oh hey Sara," Catherine said walking out.

"Hey Cath, hey Rach, need help?" Sara smiled. It had been three weeks since I had been back and things were back to normal. Sara and I still hadn't had a chance to talk again, but I guess the time will come when we will.

"Please? I'll be your best friend if you do," I smiled.

"You already are, come on, let's do this," she smiled back. She stood on the opposite side of the layout table to work on the bits that were on that side. I couldn't stop myself from staring when she leant over the table to get to work, revealing her cleavage. I didn't realise she was also watching me and we both busted each other at the same time. Our heads jerked up when Catherine walked back in with my coffee and sandwich.

AN: Review please!!


	4. Chapter 4

"Rach, you have a phone call on line 6," Cath said handing me the coffee and pointing to the phone.

"Oh, ok," I shrugged, picking up the receiver and pressing the button, "Rachel Davies."

"Rach, it's Nat," I heard on the other end.

"Natalia, hey, what's up?" I turned around to face the wall.

"I'm sorry about you walking in on Calleigh and me," my ex-girlfriend said.

"Nat, I'm at work, can't this wait?" I sighed, hoping she wasn't going to get into this with me here.

"No, because Eric and I have been called into Vegas. Connection to a case we have here, and I'm currently at the airport about to head over to your lab."

"I see, well then I guess it can't wait. Where are you staying?" I rubbed my forehead, not looking forward to this.

"Uh, Tangiers I think. Is there any chance we can catch up tonight and talk about this?" Natalia sounded desperate.

"I guess we can after shift, we'll get breakfast, I'll talk to you when you get here ok?"

"Ok, and Rach, for what it's worth, I miss you," Natalia said softly.

"I miss you too," I whispered before hanging up, "Cath, can I have a word with you please?" I asked and walked out of the layout room before she even had a chance to answer.

I was pacing a hole in the floor in Cath's office by the time she caught up to me.

"Hey girl, calm down, what's wrong?" Cath was concerned, pulling me to sit down on her couch.

"Natalia is here in Vegas. Her and one of the boys from the lab, some connection to one of the cases," I cried.

"Ok, so why is this upsetting you?" Cath asked.

"She misses me," I said, looking up at my cousin desperately.

"You still have feelings for her don't you?" she asked, when I nodded she continued, "And Sara?"

"I've always been in love with Sara, it's what held me back with Nat," I said.

"Rach, you and Natalia were together for nearly two years so of course you still have feelings for her, but she cheated on you," Cath pointed out.

"I know she did, but she's always had a thing for Calleigh, kinda like what I have for Sara. I put myself in her shoes and wonder if I would've done the same thing if the opportunity presented itself," I tried to defend Nat.

"It doesn't matter what you would or wouldn't have done Rach, it's what **has** happened. What's happening with you and Sara at the moment?"

"Nothing, we haven't talked about our feelings for each other. For all I know she doesn't feel anything anymore, I mean it was three years ago when she admitted she cared for me but she couldn't take it further, wouldn't take it further. She's probably moved on anyway," I shrugged, wiping the tears that finally came. Cath handed me a box of tissues.

"She still loves you Rachel, everyone knows that. She has become herself in the last three weeks since you've been back, no longer a shadow of her former self," Cath smiled.

"So what do I do then?" I asked.

"Whatever your heart tells you to. I can't tell you what to do, I can only advise."

"Then advise," I laughed.

"If I were in your position, I'd probably talk to Natalia and let her know that you need to move on with Sara," Cath suggested.

"So basically, find out what Nat has to say and move on as friends, then follow my heart with Sara?"

"If that's what your heart wants," Cath smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

The case Eric and Natalia was working with was a day shift case, so luckily for me there was little chance of Natalia and Sara crossing paths. I didn't see Sara for the rest of the shift that night, avoiding her until I knew what to say to her. I waited until Natalia had finished a meeting with the day shift crew and took her to one of my favourite places for breakfast, Pancake Heaven.

"Oh yum, pancakes," Natalia muttered digging into her meal when it arrived. We hadn't talked about us yet, instead just talking work. After we had finished eating and our plates were cleared, we both ordered some coffee.

"So, I guess we better talk about this then huh?" I muttered, looking out the window.

"Not here Rach, can we get our coffee to go? I'd like to take a walk," Natalia smiled. I looked at the gorgeous tanned CSI and my body started to react. _Oh this is not good,_ I thought to myself, hating how this woman has always stirred up my libido. We payed our check and gathered up our belongings and headed out with our coffees. We walked in silence for ten minutes, taking in the sights of the various shops and bars.

"I miss you Nat," I said quietly, as we sat down on a bench in a little park.

"I miss you too Rach," Natalia smiled and took my hand in hers.

"We had fun right?"

"Heaps of fun. I didn't mean for Calleigh and I to take things that far, I didn't want to hurt you."

"I'll admit, I was hurt, but I understand why you did it. I think I probably would've done the same thing in your shoes," I smiled.

"Calleigh wants a relationship with me," Nat looked down, her fingers caressing mine.

"It's what you want isn't it?" I asked, glad I was wearing sunglasses so she couldn't see the sad look in my eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want to throw away the last two years of my life without some sort of resolution."

"You worried you're going to regret it?" I asked.

"I'm worried I'll get bored," Natalia laughed.

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"You and I. We had a fantastic relationship. It was real, but it was very sexual, whereas Cal and I are more emotional and psychological, does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Our relationship was based on sex, I know that, I loved you but we were content with each other by having sex and making love, whereas with Cal in your case and Sara in mine, it's much more," I smiled.

"I'm going to miss having sex with you Rach, it was always so passionate and full on," Nat sighed.

"You're here for one more night aren't you?" I asked shyly.

"Yeah, we're heading back tomorrow," Nat said.

"Well it's my night off, how about we spend it together, resolve this the best way we know how," I suggested, my whole body aching for her to say yes.

"I was hoping you'd suggest that. One more night, and then we're friends, yeah?"

I dropped Natalia off at the lab and agreed to pick her up from the hotel at 7 pm. I reached for my cell phone and dialled Sara's number, hoping she hadn't already gone to bed.

"Sidle."

"Sara, it's Rach, can we talk?" I asked.

"Um, sure, my place?"

"Be there in twenty," I hung up and drove off. I pulled up outside Sara's apartment exactly twenty minutes later and took a deep breath and checking my appearance in the rear view mirror before turning the car off and heading into the building. I hesitated outside Sara's door and scolded myself for being a child then rang the doorbell. The door opened slowly and my heart nearly stopped when I saw Sara. She was wearing pyjama pants and a tank top, her nipples erect and almost begging me to touch them.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, come on in," Sara smiled shyly and stepped back. Her apartment hadn't changed since the last time I was in it before I had left.

"_Hey come in, want a drink?" _

"_I'd love one, thanks," I had answered, taking the drink she offered. Sara was beaming, we'd just broken the case and the guy was going down for a long time._

"_So what brings you over here?" Sara asked falling back on her sofa patting the spot next to her._

"_I wanted to talk to you about something," I answered, blushing a little._

"_Aw, are you blushing? That's so cute," Sara flirted with me touching my cheek._

"_I'm in love with you Sara, and before you slap me and kick me out, I know you've got feelings for me. We've been doing this dance for the last three years and I think we need to sort it, one way or another," I blurted out before I chickened out. Sara just sat there staring at me. I stared back at her, waiting for what she would do next. Instead of slapping me though, she leaned in and kissed me. My whole body melted when her lips touched mine and when she pulled away, I gasped. Not content with the kiss, I put my hand on the back of her head and pulled her in, sliding my tongue across her lips forcing them open so I could taste her. Sara pushed her body into mine, straddling my legs and her hands working on my shirt to get it off. I moaned when she pushed my shirt apart, her fingers setting off sparks against my bare skin. The noise from my throat seemed to have startled her; she bolted off me and stood up._

"_I'm sorry Rach, I'm sorry," she muttered, "I do love you, but I can't do this, I need to think. I think you should go, I'm sorry."_

"So, interesting phone call last night, you rushed off and I didn't see you for the rest of the shift, are you ok?" Sara asked sitting down in her huge armchair and pulling her legs up under her and hugged a cushion. I sat down on the couch and sighed.

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Your ex?" I just stared at Sara, but she smiled, "It's ok, I know you were with someone, you told me remember, you caught her in bed with a colleague."

"Yeah, she's in Vegas for a case with day shift. She's heading back tomorrow, we just got a few things to resolve before she leaves."

"How long were you two together?"

"Sara, are you sure you want to know all this?" I asked, unsure of how to proceed.

"Rachel, I **need** to know," Sara said quietly.

"Ok, if you're sure," I whispered, taking a deep breath.

_Natalia and I had become close friends, both arriving in Miami at the same time, being new to the team. We'd been there for a year, knew each other's secrets and desires. I knew about Natalia's growing obsession for Calleigh, and she knew of my love for Sara and neither of us was interested in finding anybody else._

"_Rachel, let's head out into town tonight and get totally trashed. We've both been so down lately and flat out at work, let's just let our hair down for tonight," Natalia suggested to me. The one little secret I hadn't told Natalia was my crush developing on her. My body would ache and tingle whenever she was nearby and our flirting with each other had taken on a whole other level. Besides, Sara hadn't replied to any of my emails over the last year, so I guess I'm dreaming of that ever happening._

"_Sure let's do it," I agreed beaming. _

_We went to a gay bar in downtown Miami, and started drinking vodka shots, getting very drunk. The music was awesome but the dance floor was practically empty._

"_Talia, wanna dance? Let's put on a show," I winked as I grabbed Natalia's hand. We headed onto the dance floor, and started dancing. I felt my whole body reacting as I watched Natalia dance seductively, pressing her body against mine, and thrusting her knee between my legs. Her arms snaked around my neck and she pulled our heads together, forehead to forehead. Our bodies had a mind of their own as we stared into each other's eyes, drowning each other._

"_Rach, I am so horny right now, I want to take you home and fuck your brains out," Natalia said huskily, breathing heavily._

"_Oh god Talia, let's go," I replied shakily, my knees nearly giving in on me. We barely made it back to Natalia's place before I felt her lips on mine. _

_Our clothes were discarded of quickly, leaving a trail between the front door and the bedroom. I pushed Nat backwards, until her legs hit the side of the bed and she fell back onto it. I crawled on top of her and looked at her in her naked glory._

"_God, you are so beautiful Talia," I whispered before leaning down and kissing her. As I deepened the kiss, Natalia arched her body into mine, her nails scratching my back making me moan._

"_Please Rach, please," Natalia cried. I worked my kisses down her body, working out where her sensitive spots were and paying extra attention to these areas. I knew that Natalia was going crazy, her frustration playing out verbally. I finally reached her dripping core and the sweet smell caused me to moan. I used my tongue to massage her clit, lapping up her juices and inserted two fingers inside her. Natalia gasped as I entered her. I continued my assault on her clit with my tongue as my fingers pumped in and out. I could hear Natalia begging me, her body matching my rhythm and I inserted a third finger. I could feel Natalia's wall closing around my fingers, her screams getting louder so I sucked on her clit, expertly flicking my tongue to send her over the edge. I helped her to ride out her orgasm before her body went limp then withdraw my fingers. I crawled back up her body and laid my head on her chest, listening to her heart beating fast._

"_Fuck Rach," Natalia said once she caught her breath, "if I had known you were that good, I would've bought you home much, much earlier." I just smiled contently. We had sex all night long, taking it in turns to spoil each other before falling asleep in each other's arms._

_When we woke up, we just laid in bed, unsure of what to say or do next._

"_Nat, I wanna be honest with you. I have developed a crush on you over the last year," I blushed._

"_Me too," Natalia whispered, stroking my hair out of my face._

"_I'd like to do this again," I smiled. And that began our relationship. Six months after that first night, I moved in with Natalia and we came out to our friends at work._


	7. Chapter 7

I only told Sara the short version, leaving out all the sex details and intimate moments.

"Wow, two years is a long time," Sara murmured, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah," I replied shrugging, "I guess it is."

"So you did love her."

"Yes. I still do. But it's a different kind of love. Our whole relationship was based on sex, fulfilling each other's needs and companionship. I guess it'll be safe to say, she's my best friend."

"And now she's with Calleigh, the girl she's always been in love with?" Sara asked.

"Kinda. I think she needs for things to be resolved between us first, before she can make that move," I sighed.

"You're right, and I think you need that resolution as well, before you can move on." I looked at Sara and tried to read through the wall she has set up around herself.

We were sitting there in silence, just looking at each other, both wanting to say something but neither with the courage to say it. I took a deep breath and just jumped in.

"Sara, do you still love me?" I asked quietly.

"Why?" Sara asked, looking down and started fidgeting.

"I need to know. Because tonight I'm saying goodbye to the most important girl in my life for the last three years and I need to be sure it's the right thing," I replied.

"If you love her, you should fight for her," Sara said quietly.

"I do love her, but I love you more, and I'd rather fight for you. I need to know that you still have feelings for me so I know if there's a chance for us, because I don't wanna waste the next four years waiting and hoping," I stood up and walked over to Sara and kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

"I uh, I really missed you while you were away Rach, and I do still love you, I never stopped, I just wasn't ready," Sara said, tears in her eyes.

"Ok, that's all I need to hear," I smiled, bringing her hands up to my lips and placing a kiss on them, "I'm going to go now, got things to resolve." I stood up and headed to the door.

"Rachel, when you say resolve, you mean, one last night together don't you?" Sara questioned, still sitting in the armchair.

"I'm sorry Sara, but yes," I looked down.

"Ok, call me tomorrow?" Sara sounded hopeful. I nodded, smiling at her then left.

I arrived at the hotel a little early and bumped into Eric on his way out.

"Hey girl, was hoping we'd get a chance to catch up before we leave tomorrow," Eric Delko, former colleague of mine said.

"Hey Eric, maybe we could get lunch tomorrow before you head off, I'll take you both to the airport," I suggested.

"Sounds good. Hey, I'm sorry about you and Nat, I thought you guys were a perfect couple, everyone was shocked when we found out and to hear you had left," Eric said quietly, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine Eric, Nat and I are sorting a few things out," I smiled.

"So, you're working it out and getting back together? I knew H sent her on this assignment for a reason!"

"No Eric, we're not getting back together. We're just going to part as friends," I let him down gently.

"Damn, but you'll come and visit won't you?" I just laughed at the man.

"Of course, and there's email and cell phones."


	8. Chapter 8

I knocked on Natalia's door and took a deep breath. Natalia was chatting on her cell phone when she answered the door, and it sounded like a bit of an argument as she excused herself and went into the bathroom to finish the conversation. A few minutes later she came out just as my cell phone rang. I looked at the ID and saw Calleigh's name flashing. I glanced at Natalia and she just rolled her eyes and picked up a room service menu.

"Davies." I answered the phone.

"Rachel, it's Calleigh, do you mind if I talk to you a minute?" I took a deep breath. I may have forgiven Natalia but I wasn't sure if I was ready to forgive Calleigh, she was supposed to be my friend.

"Ok," I sighed.

"I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did, and I know it's no excuse, but I want you to know, I really care about Natalia," Calleigh said.

"I hope you're serious about this Cal, I mean, really serious," I said, walking into the bathroom for privacy.

"I am Rachel. I know about tonight too, and I'm not exactly happy about it, but I understand why you guys need to do this," Calleigh said quietly.

"I'm sorry we've got to do this Calleigh, but I love Natalia and I don't want us to break up the way we did, with me finding her in bed with one of my close friends. I'd rather us to break up after a night together."

"Yeah, that's what Nat said. I am sorry though," Calleigh sounded genuine.

"Look, I'm not going to say I forgive you Cal, because I'll need time to do that, but I'm not going to hate you. I want you to know though, that if you ever hurt her, you will have me to deal with."

"I know, I promise, I don't intend to hurt her. I'll let you go now, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry," Calleigh said before hanging up.

I walked out of the bathroom and found Natalia on the balcony, looking out at the Vegas sights. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her, kissing her shoulder.

"Hey, everything alright?" Nat asked, putting her hands on mine.

"Yeah, everything is perfect," I whispered.

"It's beautiful here," Natalia sighed, happily.

"Yeah, it is. So are you Talia," I kissed her shoulder again, and moved up to her neck. My body was pushed up against her back and I could feel her heart thumping.

"Dinner will be here shortly," she said quietly, squeezing my hands.

"Nat," I started before she cut me off.

"Shh, just enjoy it babe," Nat said softly. I spun her around and held her, looking in her eyes. I saw a twinkle behind her tears. As if drawn to each other, we kissed. Passionately and slow.

"I love you Natalia Du Vista," I whispered when we came up for air. We'd never actually said that to each other before.

"I love you too Rachel Davies, forever," Nat said pulling me back in for a kiss.

Our dinner arrived and we ordered wine to be delivered when the dishes are picked up. We sat at the table and enjoyed our meal in silence, like we had done so many times before when we lived together for 18 months. I reached across the table and held Nat's hand in mine as we ate. When the wine arrived, I went and switched on the stereo, finding a few cds the hotel offers as part of the room and picked a romantic one and put it on. Natalia handed me my glass and we made a toast.

"To the best two years of my life," Natalia said raising her glass.

"And to the future," I added, winking. I placed my glass on the table after taking a few sips and did the same with Natalia's. I took her by the hand and led her over to the stereo, pulling her in close to me and slowly started dancing.

"Rach, thank you," Nat whispered, her eyes misty and shiny. I ran my fingertips down her arm and entwined our hands.

"Shh, no need for thanks," I said softly, bringing her hands up to my lips and I kissed her fingers. Natalia closed her eyes and sighed. I put my arms around her and held her close, dancing in silence. I pulled back a little and Natalia looked at me and smiled. I leaned in, kissing her. My hands went under her shirt, my fingers caressing her back, something I know Natalia enjoys. I smiled into our kiss when I heard her moan as I softly scratched her sides.

"You're a tease Rachel," Nat murmured, her hands undoing the front of my blouse, her eyes not leaving mine.

"Hmm, and you my darling, are absolutely gorgeous," I replied, lifting her shirt over her head. My blouse joined hers on the floor, forgotten already.

"Not as gorgeous as you," Nat said pushing me down on to the couch. I sat there and watched as Natalia went over to the stereo and changed cds for something a 

little faster paced. I always enjoyed these shows of Natalia's, and she knows how turned on I get when she dances for me. I was like a child at the fair, my eyes never leaving her body for a second, and the moans and grunts I exhaled only urged Natalia on. She turned her back to me as she undid her bra, throwing it over her shoulder so it landed on my lap. I picked it up and sniffed it, the smell of Natalia intoxicating me. I quickly discarded it and returned my attention to the sex goddess in front of me who was undoing her jeans, teasing me a little by pretending to be shy. But I knew the rules; I wasn't allowed to move from the chair and touch, not until she was in my lap. Slowly, too slowly, Nat removed her jeans to show her white g-string, already soaked with her own desire. I love how Natalia seems to get off on doing this for me.


	9. Chapter 9

"I have a surprise for you, baby," Nat smiled, looking rather cheeky.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked huskily, my whole body shaking.

"I got it just over a week ago, nobody's seen it yet, so you'll be the first," Nat looked down as she removed her g-string. I followed her eye sight and noticed a new piercing that wasn't there before. Nat and I had been big on piercings while together, both getting our tongues pierced and our left nipple pierced. We had talked about getting our clit done but never quite got the chance, except Nat seemed to have.

"Oh god baby," I drooled and Nat smiled, pleased with her surprise.

"Wanna, play with it?" she asked huskily, stepping a little closer. My hands clutched the side of the couch; I would be punished if I touched before she was settled on my lap. I just moaned and threw my head back. Yep, Natalia made me orgasm before she even touched me. Natalia took pity and climbed onto my lap, straddling me and put her arms around my neck.

"You're bad," I moaned, putting my hands on her arse to hold her on.

"My new personal best," Natalia gloated at the fact she made me come without touching me again.

"I'm going to take you, right now," I grunted as I picked her up and took her over to the bed.

We took it in turns, satisfying and being satisfied as well as finishing the wine until we both passed out from exhaustion, in each other's arms. It was 6 am when I woke up, Natalia's head on my chest. We'd only slept for two hours, which was nothing unusual for us when we had these marathons.

"Baby, wake up, it's 6," I said quietly, kissing the top of her head.

"Hmm, already?" Natalia murmured. Although we had nowhere to be until lunch time, we knew that we would be distracted and make love a few more times before we finally had to say goodbye.

"Yes, already. You go start the shower and I'll order up some breakfast," I pinched her arse as she attempted to get out of bed.

"Nasty," Nat squealed and turned on me, pinning me to the bed. I lay there grinning like the Cheshire cat, "I'm going to have to wipe that grin off your face young lady." As she leaned in to kiss me, I flipped her over so she was on her back and I was pinning her down.

"You ain't got nothing on me baby, I still get you with that trick," I laughed. I gave her a quick kiss then hopped out of bed and ran to the phone to ring for breakfast, telling 

them we'll be ready for it in about an hour and a half. Natalia was laying in the bath, water filling around her when I walked into the bathroom.

"A bath?" I rose my eyebrows.

"Yeah, how much time we got?" Natalia flirted.

"An hour and a half," I said, climbing in and laying on top of her, silencing whatever she was about to say with a kiss.

We spent the morning making love, eating breakfast and making love again. I felt like I could never get enough. Around 11 am, while Natalia slept a little, I poured myself a coffee and went out onto the balcony, thinking. _Was I making a mistake, letting Natalia go and starting something new with Sara, the one I had been in love with for a long time. But my feelings for Natalia had intensified over the years. Yes, I was madly in love with her too. How can you be in love with two different opposite people? I know that Natalia loves Calleigh, and Calleigh has tried to ensure me that she wasn't going to hurt Natalia, was it right to feel jealous about that?_ I was lost in these thoughts that I didn't hear Natalia join me until she put her arms around me and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"What you thinking about?" Nat asked.

"You," I whispered.

"Don't, please Rachel, don't do it to yourself, don't do it to me," Nat said softly, tightening her embrace.

"I'm sorry, I just need to be sure that we're doing the right thing," I said, tears slowly falling.

"We need to try. We've both finally got what we wanted all those years ago, we owe it to ourselves to take that chance," Nat said, turning me around, "don't cry baby, please."

"You're right, we need to try. Just promise me something Nat," I said quietly, hugging her, "if things don't work out with Cal, and things with me and Sara don't work out, we try again?"

"I promise baby, I promise," Nat said as her own tears fell. We held each other like that for awhile, before realising we had a lunch date and still had to pack Natalia's stuff.


	10. Chapter 10

A week after Natalia left for Miami, Catherine was throwing a party at our place for the night shift before work. Sara and I had the night off so we were responsible for the clean up afterwards, and also the only ones who were drinking. Lindsay was being rude to a few of the guys, so I grabbed her by the arm and took her into her room and sat her down. I sat down next to her and just stared at her.

"What?" Lindsay asked with a little too much attitude for my liking.

"What?" I mimicked. She just stared at me and shrugged.

"I don't care if you ground me," she said.

"I'm not going to ground you Lindsay, I'm going to talk to you. Now what is with this ridiculous attitude?" I asked.

"What attitude?" she asked sarcastically.

"You're fifteen years old, not three, so don't act like it. Now tell me why you're acting like this now? What happened to the sweet little girl I knew a few years ago?"

"Guess she grew up, but you wouldn't know that seeing as you left," Lindsay spat.

"You can't blame me for your shit Linds, you don't realise just how lucky you have it here," I stated.

"How lucky I have it? My mum works so much, I rarely get to see her, you disappeared like everyone else in my life has, school is shit and everyone treats me like a fucking kid," Lindsay said.

"Let me tell you something, firstly, don't you ever use that word around me again. You're fifteen. When you turn eighteen, then you can use it all you want, I don't care. Secondly, let me tell you a little story about someone I know. When she was fifteen, she didn't have a home, she didn't have a mother who worked so hard to make sure she could feed her child and buy all those expensive toys and gadgets kids have these days, she didn't have a school to attend to get a good education and she was treated like a prostitute because she lived on the streets. This fifteen year old got addicted to alcohol, to drugs, just so she couldn't feel the pain of everything she had lost, everything she never had, so you tell me Lindsay, does it suck to be a fifteen year old in your life or maybe you'd rather had her life?" Lindsay didn't say a word, looking down, knowing exactly who I was talking about. I had never kept my past a secret from Lindsay and hopefully I've gotten through to her.

"I'm sorry Rachel," Lindsay said quietly.

"No Linds, sorry doesn't cut it for all the heartache you've put your mum through the last few years, blaming me for leaving and look at the state of you," I pointed to her clothes that were just asking for trouble, "do me a favour, you want to stop being treated like a kid, then stop acting like one. I want you to stay in your room tonight, 

don't come out while our friends are here, and think about what I've said huh?" Lindsay just nodded at me as the tears came. I figured she'd finally got the message.

As I walked out of her room, I saw Sara standing next to the door, tears running down her face. I closed Lindsay's door and took Sara into my arms.

"Sara, honey, what's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"How did you know?" she asked, shaking.

"Know what?" I said, tilting her face up so she was looking at me and not the floor.

"The fifteen year old," she said quietly, tears ruining her mascara.

"Sara, who do you think the fifteen year old is?" I asked, a little confused.

"It's me," Sara said and I felt my whole body shake. I led her into my bedroom and closed the door, sitting her on the bed and handing her tissues.

"Sara," I started once she had calmed down a little, "I had no idea. That fifteen year old I was talking about, that was me." Sara looked up at me, shock written all over her face.

"You? But you're Catherine's cousin, no way any relative of Cath's would've lived like that," Sara said shaking her head.

"Sara, I didn't know Catherine until I was 17. I was abandoned when I was three and Catherine didn't even know of my existence until I was about 16. She tracked me down and pulled me out of the mess I was in, Cath saved me."

"So, you would understand about how I grew up," the words she said three years ago coming back to haunt her, "I'm so sorry Rachel, I'm so sorry." I put my arms around her and held her while she cried. There was a knock on my door half an hour later and I realised that there was still a party going on outside. I looked down at Sara and realised she had fallen asleep. I lay her down on the bed and threw a cover over her before answering the door.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey, everything alright?" Cath asked with concern.

"Yeah, we've reached an understanding. She's pretty upset at the moment," I whispered linking arms with my cousin and walking out.

"And Lindsay?"

"The same," I laughed.

"Rachel, I'm glad you've come back home, I love you little cousin," Cath hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"I love you too Cath, now come on, we've got guests to entertain." When I say party, I actually mean gathering which is all that was going on out the back. There was not enough people to actually break out the hard stuff and the loud music, but it was just enough for us.

"Damn girl, hate to see you get pissed off at us," Greg commented when we returned to the table.

"What?" I asked smiling.

"The way you hauled Lindsay outta here and the look on your face man, no wonder Sara ran after you, where is she anyway?" Greg looked around.

"She's not feeling well," I said, "so she's resting on my bed at the moment."

"Where you've always wanted her right?" Nick laughed, high fiving with Greg.

"Ha ha ha, you're such a child!" I rolled my eyes and Catherine laughed.

"So Rach, you going to tell us all about Miami?" Warrick asked coolly.

"Miami? What you've never been?" I acted like I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Problem is, they all know that the girl who came up for that case was someone I knew well.

"You know what we wanna know, that hot girl last week, what's her story?" Greg squealed like a little kid.

"Sorry Greg, she's outta your league," I teased.

"Damn, you banged her didn't you?" Nick said in shock.

"Banged her? What are you, 12?" I threw peanuts at him.

"Come on girl, tell us," Warrick encouraged.

"It's none of our business," Grissom piped up, but I could tell he was intrigued as well.

"No it's ok Gris, you guys really wanna know? We were together for two years. So yeah Nick, I 'banged' her, alot," I smirked at their open mouths.

"Oh for Christ sake boys, close your mouths, you'll catch flies," Catherine laughed shaking her head.

"Damn girl, we're taking you out to help us pick up," Greg said nudging Nick.

"Sure you wanna do that Greggo? You get Rachel to help you pick up, guarantee you that she'll be the one taking the girl home," Catherine laughed and Greg sulked.

Everyone had headed off to work and I had finished cleaning up. I decided I should go check on the two girls I had left earlier. I didn't find Sara in my room though; instead she was in Lindsay's room talking.

"Knock knock, can I come in?" I said from the door.

"Hey Rachel, come in," Lindsay said. I could tell she had been crying a lot.

"Thanks darling, mind if I sit with you two up there?" I pointed to the bed where they were sitting. They both moved over and patted the spot in between them. I just laughed and kicked off my shoes before jumping in the middle.

"Rachel, I'm sorry," Lindsay said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Linds, it's not me you need to tell," I said quietly kissing her forehead.

"Mum?" she asked and I just nodded, "I'll talk to her tomorrow when she gets home. Rachel, I'm glad you came home though. I know you had to leave some people you love, but I promise I'm going to get better and be good now."

"As long as you do baby, as long as you do," I whispered putting my arm around her and let her snuggle against me like she used to do. Sara grabbed my hand in hers and entwined our fingers and laid her head on my other shoulder. I kissed the top of her head before resting mine on hers.

"Hmm, Rachel?" Lindsay said sleepily.

"Yeah baby?" I said softly.

"I love you," she whispered then was out like a light.

"I love you too," I whispered. We stayed there like that for ten minutes and I thought that Sara must've fallen asleep as well.


	12. Chapter 12

"Rachel?" Sara said very softly I only just heard her. I lifted my head off hers and she looked up at me, "I love you as well." I smiled and nodded. I glanced at Lindsay and figured Sara and I should make a break for it. I indicated for her to get up then I slowly took my arm from around Lindsay and laid her on her pillows. We went out to the kitchen where I put the kettle on to make some coffee. I turned all the lights off except the hall light and we sat down on the couch with our hot drinks.

"Sara, I'm really sorry for leaving," I said.

"Don't be sorry Rachel, let's just enjoy now. I meant what I said in Lindsay's room, I do love you," she said, taking my hand again.

"But?" I could sense there was one there.

"No buts. I'm ready. As long as you realise that I do have skeletons in my closet. I have trust issues and abandonment issues, which I now realise that you do too," Sara said.

"I just didn't want you to feel sorry for me or anything, that's why I never told you. But I guess that's probably why you never told me about yours either huh?" I gazed across at her and smiled.

Sara and I had been dating for a month now, but we haven't yet taken things past second base. We spent the first couple of weeks sharing our secrets and getting to know each other. We've been out on 3 dates, all which ended in making out on the couch before one of us decides we should stop until we're both ready and sure. I was starting to really sexually frustrated, and I knew that Sara was too by her temper at work lately. I was home on our first day off in two weeks and I was bored. Catherine was sleeping, Lindsay was at school and Sara was at her house sleeping before we went out on our date tonight. I had been sent home early the night before due to being maxed out on overtime, so I had already caught up on enough sleep. Sara and I had both managed to get two days off at the same time. I have a feeling Grissom arranged it and is hoping I do something to cure Sara's rage and temper during our well deserved break. I logged my laptop on to catch up with my emails and to see if anyone was online to chat too. My stomach did butterflies when I saw that Natalia and Calleigh were both online.

Talia says: Hey Rachel!

Gungal says:About time you checked in here.

Vegas Rach says:Hey you two, how are you?

Gungal says:Good. Your replacement finally arrived last week.

Vegas Rach says:Oh yeah, what's s/he like?

Gungal says:He's sweet, such a gentleman, good CSI.

Talia says: He's an idiot.

Vegas Rach says:Well, he sounds interesting. What did he do Nat, hit on Cal?

Talia says: Yes. First day he was there.

Gungal says:Oh stop it you, he just didn't know.

Talia says: Well he does now! 

Vegas Rach says:Tell me you didn't stake your claim right there in the lab in front of him? Lol.

Gungal says:Of course she did, that's her trademark. She did that for you when that detective tried to hit you up, I remember that.

Vegas Rach says:I think everyone remembers that, seeing as that's how you guys all found out about us.

Talia says:  Shit happens. Lol.

Gungal says:So, how's things with your girl?

Vegas Rach says:Getting there. Got a date tonight.  I'm nervous though.

Talia says: Ah, tonight's the night is it? (wink wink)

Gungal says:Oh leave her alone, you'll be fine honey, just go with the flow.

Vegas Rach says:Yeah I will try 

Gungal says:Well make sure you let us know how it all goes. Anyway, I better go to bed, some of us have to work tomorrow.

Vegas Rach says:Goodnight Calleigh  I'll email you the details of the date, lol.

Talia says: I'll be right back, going to grab my phone.

I went and quickly grabbed myself a soda and sat and waited for Natalia to return. My guess is she's on the phone saying goodnight to Calleigh. It was nearly ten minutes before a message appeared.

Talia says: I'm back. So seriously, how have you been?

Vegas Rach says:Seriously, I've been fine. More importantly, how have you been?

Talia says: It's been ok. We're both making adjustments but we're working out so far.

Vegas Rach says:Are you happy though?

Talia says: Yes.

Vegas Rach says:That's good. 

Talia says: Is it wrong that I still miss you though?

Vegas Rach says:I don't know if it's wrong or not, but if it makes you feel any better, I miss you too. 

Talia says: You know, I sometimes wonder where we would've ended up. You know, family and stuff.

Vegas Rach says:Don't dwell on the what ifs remember, enjoy the future of what you got now.

Talia says: I know, I know. I hate to say this, but I really miss our sex life, lol.

Vegas Rach says:I miss it too.

Talia says: Well piss off now, I'm going to bed, and you have a hot date tonight. Love you.

Vegas Rach says:Love you too Talia.


	13. Chapter 13

I closed my laptop up and smiled at the photo beside my bed. In one frame is a picture of me and Sara and in another frame there's a photo of all of us from Miami, Natalia and I holding each other in it. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Catherine come into my room until she was lying down next to me on my bed.

"Hey darling, what are you thinking about?" Cath said snuggling in next to me.

"Hey, just thinking about Sara," I blushed.

"Oh that's right, the hot date tonight," Cath smirked, teasing me.

"Don't you start too, just heard it from Nat and Cal," I laughed.

"So how are they?"

"Yeah, they're good by the sounds of it," I said, a little too sad.

"You still miss her don't you?" Cath sat up and looked at me.

"Is that so wrong?" I asked shrugging.

"No darling, it's normal. What you guys shared together was something special, the only problem was you both were in love with other people," Cath stated, lying back down, "Wish I had that kind of connection with someone."

"You'll find someone Cath, I know you will," I smiled.

"I know, it's just been so long since I've had sex," Cath moaned throwing a pillow over her face.

"What about Warrick?" I teased her about her crush on our colleague.

"No, he's got a girlfriend, besides, I'm so over men right now," she complained.

"Oh, so it's a woman, you're looking for, why didn't you say so? I know a woman who has a real mean crush on you!" I laughed.

"Who? Tell me, who?" Cath looked excited.

"Hmm, I tell you what, let me make a few phone calls, you ring Grissom and tell him you're not working tonight," I smiled mischievously.

I picked up my cell phone and hit speed dial for Sara's cell.

"Hello?" I forgot that she was probably sleeping and I've just woken her.

"Sara? I'm so sorry if I've woken you," I apologised.

"It's fine, about time I got up anyway, I have this date tonight," Sara said, happily.

"About the date, how would you like to turn it into a double date?" I explained to her about how I was going to set Cath up.

"Hmm, sounds like a good plan, I'll go ring her now and you organise Cath, good idea honey," Sara smiled.

"Cool. Hey, what are you wearing?" I asked huskily, knowing I was playing with fire.

"Rachel, I'm warning you now, if you continue this line of questioning, we won't make it to the date tonight," Sara groaned.

"Feeling a little horny baby?" I teased.

"Rachel, I mean it," Sara warned.

"Ok, ok, sook," I pouted and laid back.

"See you soon gorgeous," Sara said then hung up.


	14. Chapter 14

Catherine tried all afternoon to get information out of me as to who the mystery girl was, and was still going for it when we were waiting to be picked up. Sara had arranged for Catherine's date to meet her before they both arrived to pick us up. I was just checking my make up in the mirror near the front door when I heard the car pull up. I checked my dress as Cath walked up behind me.

"Damn girl, you do look hot. If Sara doesn't bed you tonight, there's something wrong with her," Cath beamed at me.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I spun around and gave her the once over, "You ready?"

"No, I have absolutely no idea who it is. I can't figure out who else in the lab is gay that has a major crush on me," I had given Cath a few clues but she was still having trouble figuring it out. There was a knock on the door.

"Time to find out," I smiled. Cath took a deep breath then opened the door.

"Wendy?" Cath smiled, blushing. I knew Cath would be pleased, giving a few comments she had thrown my way about the DNA expert since I've been back.

"Catherine," Wendy smiled, holding her hand out to lead Catherine out to the car. I followed them out, closing the door behind me. Sara smiled at me, and I winked at her. I took Sara's hand and kissed her cheek before walking out to the car.

We had just dropped Wendy and Catherine off at a club, both ensuring us that they would get home safe and for us to continue on with our plans after dinner. I sat back in the front seat and watched Sara driving. I didn't know where we were going seeing as tonight was Sara's turn to plan. I turned the music up on the stereo and listened to the song.

_I can't believe you're here with me,  
And now it seems my world's complete,  
And I never want this moment to end.  
I close my eyes and still I see,  
My dreams become reality,  
And now I know how it feels to be in love._

I prayed so many nights that you would come my way,  
An angel from above to light my darkest day.  
I think it's time for you to heed these lines,  
Cos there's something I wanna say.

I finally found what I've been looking for,  
And now you know I'm gonna love you more,  
Hold me tight 'cause it's always been you.  
(It's always been you)  
To think that you were always there,  


_To be my friend and wipe away my tears,  
Now it's clear that it's always been you._

Sometimes you don't expect that friends,  
Can become lovers in the end.  
Only God knows what the future will bring.  
So hold me close and don't let go,  
'Cause this is love, boy don't you know,  
And we're gonna be together for eternity.

I prayed so many nights that you would come my way,  
An angel from above to light my darkest day.  
A love so strong it can't be wrong,  
It's with you that I belong.

I finally found what I've been looking for,  
And now you know I'm gonna love you more,  
Hold me tight 'cause it's always been you.  
(It's always been you)  
To think that you were always there,  
To be my friend and wipe away my tears,  
Now it's clear that it's always been you.  


_This time (this time),  
I'm gonna make sure it turns out right.  
I wanna be you're everything and by your side,  
For the rest of my life.  
This love (this love),  
Feels the way that love should be,  
Look in my eyes and realise there's no disguise,  
'Cause I'm in love with you._

I finally found what I've been looking for,  
And now you know I'm gonna love you more,  
Hold me tight 'cause it's always been you.  
To think that you were always there,  
To be my friend and wipe away my tears,  
Now it's clear that it's always been you.  
(It's always been you) 

Sara pulled over and looked at me.

"You have a very beautiful voice," she said. I realised I must've been singing along to the song.

"Oh, thank you," I blushed, and then looked around, "where are we?"

"Oh, I booked this little hideaway for the next two nights, hope you don't mind?" Sara was blushing.

"No of course not, but I don't have any clothes," I stated.

"Well, we're not really going to need any clothes, but I did get Catherine to pack you a bag just in case, I got it off her at work last night," Sara smiled.

"Charmer you," I smiled getting out of the car. Sara checked us into the cottage and unloaded the bags while I checked the place out. There was fruit and juice in the fridge, snacks in the cupboard and wine in a cooler.

"So, you like it?" Sara asked coming up behind me and putting her arms around me.

"It's lovely, romantic," I smiled, leaning back into her.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" I nodded and stepped out of her embrace so she could open the bottle. I headed over to the stereo and put some music on then settled onto the couch, waiting for Sara to join me.


	15. Chapter 15

We had been making out on the couch for the last half hour, both too nervous to take it that little further. I decided that I was going to have to be the one to initiate the next step, so I pulled back off Sara. She was breathing heavily, as was I.

"Hey," I said softly, pushing hair back off her face and behind her ear.

"Hmm," Sara moaned, trying to pull me back to her so I could kiss her more.

"You are so beautiful," I murmured, grabbing both her hands and pinning them to the top of the couch, straddling her lap. I heard her gasp, realising I was taking control.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" Sara breathed out huskily.

"What am I doing to you, Sidle?" I whispered in her ear, before sucking on her neck. I felt Sara's body react under mine, and heard her moan.

"You make me so wet, my mind goes all fuzzy and my whole body tingles whenever you are near me," she said. I smiled and let her hands go. Sara ran her hands up my legs, under my dress and caressed the outside of my thighs before pulling the fabric up over my head. I was very exposed, sitting on her lap in nothing but a bra and a g-string. I decided that she had way too much clothes on, so I started unbuttoning her shirt, slowly.

"Sara, I want you so bad," I muttered, pushing her shirt off her shoulders. She picked me up and laid me on the rug. She then disposed of her jeans quickly before lying on top of me. I pulled her down onto me hard, attacking her neck with my mouth, my hands sneaking up her back to unhook her bra.

I felt Sara's hands caressing my body, teasing me. I felt her kissing my skin, working her way down from my shoulders. I didn't realise that my bra had been tossed aside, let alone that it had come off until I felt Sara's lips close around my hard nipples. A small moan escaped my lips as she flicked her tongue over the hard buds. I whimpered in protest when she stopped but soon enjoyed how she was travelling down. I felt her lips on my pussy, through the g-string and I was going dizzy with desire. I lifted my arse as Sara pulled my g-string down, pushing my wet mound towards Sara's hungry mouth just inches away but she just blew a soft breath on it which nearly made me come in itself. I used my own hands to massage my erect nipples, moaning as Sara teased me with kisses up and down the inside of my thighs, skipping over where I wanted her most.

"Please," I muttered, begging Sara as it all became a little too much and she gave in, closing her mouth around my clit. I almost came on the spot, instead grabbing the rug to ground me. I gasped when I felt Sara's fingers expertly inserted, setting a rhythm. I cried out her name, begging her to go faster as I climbed my climax. With 

a little flick inside me and sucking on my clit, I fell over the edge, screaming her name. Sara held me close, our sweat glistening as we fell asleep holding each other on the rug. A few hours later, I woke up and looked over at the gorgeous brunette who was still sleeping, with a smile on her face. I traced her body with my fingers, before replacing them with my kisses, slowly waking her.

"Hi," Sara smiled sleepily, looking down at where I was kissing her abdomen. I looked up and smiled at her.

"Hi," I whispered before returning to my task. We spent the next two days making love and sleeping, before returning back to the real world.

We got so caught up in work over the next few months, and our relationship was steady. Catherine and Wendy hadn't worked out, but Catherine had started a relationship with one of our detectives, Sofia Curtis. Wendy had also started seeing someone in the last few weeks, I just didn't know who because she was being very secretive about it. Sara and I were sitting beside the pool one afternoon and I noticed that she was somewhat distracted. We'd barely seen each other for two weeks.

"Sara, you ok?" I asked sipping on a soda.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine Rach," Sara said but I could tell she was lying. We'd just celebrated our six month anniversary that month, a milestone I didn't think I'd get to with her.

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking at her intently.

"Just drop it Rach, please?" Sara snapped at me then went inside. We'd had several fights during our relationship, but nothing that caused too much concern. I somehow felt that this was different. Against my better judgement, I followed her, hoping she could let me in and talk to me. I found her sitting on my couch, Lindsay sitting on the floor watching some romance movie with one of her friends. I sat down next to Sara and smiled, taking her hand in mine. My heart broke into a million pieces when she snatched her hand away and just gave me a cold stare. I had to get out of there before she could see just how much she hurt me so I ran into my bedroom, closing the door.


	16. Chapter 16

I was lying on my bed, holding the framed picture of Natalia and Calleigh they had sent a few months earlier when I heard Sara walk in.

"I'm sorry," Sara said standing at the foot of my bed, hands in her pockets and looking at the floor.

"What the hell Sara?" I asked, replacing the frame beside my bed.

"I can't compete anymore," she said, still not looking at me.

"Compete? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Natalia." I just stared at her in shock, unsure of what exactly she meant.

"Natalia is my best friend Sara, that's all," I said.

"That's what you're trying to convince yourself of anyway," Sara muttered then sat down beside me on the bed, "Look, there's something I have to tell you." This didn't sound good at all, my whole body started shaking.

"I don't like the sound of this," I murmured.

"I'm sorry, it's not good," Sara said, tears in her eyes. Before she could say anything else, I jumped up, grabbing my keys and cell phone and ran out. I just got into my car and drove, not knowing where I was going but not really caring either.

My cell phone had not stopped ringing, mostly Sara, but the last couple of times have been Catherine. I left over six hours ago and was sitting at a bar getting rather drunk. I checked my cell phone when it rang again and saw Natalia's name flash across the screen. I opened it up and answered it.

"Hey," I slurred out.

"Rachel, thank god! Are you drunk?" Nat sounded like she had been panicking.

"Ah, good observation CSI Du Vista," I said signalling to the bartender for a refill.

"Everyone is so worried about you, especially Sara. What's going on?" Nat asked sternly.

"I ran."

"Rachel, I'm serious."

"I didn't want to stick around to hear whatever bad news Sara was about to deliver, so yeah, I ran out," I sighed.

"Oh Rach," Natalia started, but I cut her off.

"Look, Nat, can you just call them all and let them know I'm ok. I don't want to be rude or anything, but I kinda just wanna sit here and get pissed right now. I'll call you," I said then hung up. I smiled at the bartender when he bought my drink over and I skulled it in one gulp, ordering another before he walked away.

"Rachel, come on, that's enough, let's go," I looked up from where I was sitting and I saw Catherine standing there.

"Cath, how did you find me?" I slurred.

"I knew you'd answer if Nat rang you, I had her put a trace on the call, I'm sorry," Cath said, grabbing my jacket from behind my chair and pulling me up. I fished my wallet out and put a few bills on the bar, nodding to the bartender as Catherine dragged me out into her car.

"I'm sorry," I said, the tears finally spilling over as we neared home.

"No, I'm sorry. I knew what was going on but I just didn't want your heart to get broken, I told Sara she had to tell you," Cath sighed, pulling into the driveway. I could see Sara pacing on the front porch, I wasn't sure if I was ready for this.

"Cath, its Wendy isn't it?" I finally put it all together.

"Talk to Sara. I'm going to go ring Nat, she was freaking when I rang her, threatening to jump on a plane right away," Cath smiled sadly.

I went into the bathroom to have a shower, asking Sara if she could just wait until I was sobered up a little. I looked in the mirror and started thinking. _How could this have happened? She said she had loved me, assured me that I wasn't making a mistake nearly a year ago when I let Natalia go for good. Everything had been perfect, I was working up the courage to ask Sara to move in with us, but how could I have been so blind? Cheating on me. With Wendy. It was like déjà vu all over again, walking in on Natalia and Calleigh. What the hell was wrong with me?_ I walked out of the bathroom feeling a lot better than I did when I walked in. Sara was sitting on my bed, crying, holding the photo of her and me.

"Hey," I said, sitting down next to her, taking the picture out of her hand and setting it back on the bedside table.

"I'm so sorry Rachel," Sara sniffled.

"Just tell me why," I asked sadly, telling myself that I wasn't going to cry in front of her.

"It just happened. I don't know why. I've always felt that there was something blocking our relationship Rachel, and I know you don't see it or feel it right now because you're blinded by your love for me. I do love you Rach, with all of my heart, and I know you love me too. But I'm not your soul mate. I'm not the one you're destined to be with," Sara said. I could tell it was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me.

"But you knew what I went through when Natalia cheated on me, why couldn't you have told me this before you went behind my back? That's what I don't understand, you just did the exact same thing that she did to hurt me," I did everything I could to keep my anger in check.

"I haven't cheated on you. We have fallen in love with each other, but we haven't acted on it yet. I wouldn't do that to you Rachel, because you are way too important to me. The way that I see it, you have got Natalia and I mixed up. She is your soul mate, and I'm your best friend. I think that's the way it should always have been," Sara said.

"No," I whispered, not wanting to believe that it had all been a waste of time, even though I knew in my heart that she was right. I couldn't manage to let Natalia go, even now.

"I'm so sorry, and when you're ready, I will be right here, as your friend, I love you Rachel, and that's why I have to do this," Sara stood up, leaning down to kiss my forehead then left the room. My tears came.


	17. Chapter 17

A couple of months later, I had just wrapped up a case with Sara. We had resumed our friendship, on the condition that I wasn't ready to face her and Wendy together, so they had kept it on the low whilst at work. I hadn't spoken to Natalia since she rang me at the bar; instead I chose to ignore her calls and only sent vague emails. I hadn't even told her that Sara and I had split up.

"Rachel, Catherine's looking for you, I think she's in her office," Greg said as he came into the break room where I was finalising the paperwork with Sara.

"Go, I'll be right," Sara said, shooing me off.

"Right, make sure you sign it this time hey," I teased her as I headed out the door, Wendy walking in at the same time.

"Hey Rach," Wendy said, shyly. I hadn't really talked to her all that much since the whole thing blew up between Sara and me.

"Hey Wendy," I said politely, still uncomfortable around her. I headed down the hall and knocked on Catherine's door before poking my head in. She was in front of her computer, her glasses pushed to the end of her nose and she was concentrating on whatever she was typing. Sofia was sitting on the couch reading a forensic journal.

"Hey," I said, walking in sitting down next to Sofia, "what's going on?"

"Shh, she'll yell at you if you talk," Sofia hushed me. I just shook my head and grabbed the journal out of Sofia's hands.

"Well, seeing as you're her girlfriend, you can be the one to announce that I'm here," I whispered.

"I'm not going to do that, are you crazy?" Sofia looked at me with a horrified expression.

"Oh don't be a baby, just tell her you'll make it up to her with sex, and speaking of you two having sex, ew, do you think you could keep it down when there's other people in the house, including her 16 year old daughter," I teased.

"I can hear you guys you know," Catherine said, taking her glasses off and looking at us. I just smiled sweetly and Sofia looked like she was ready to run out of the room.

"Sofia, relax, she won't bite you, unless of course, that's how you like it," I pissed myself laughing as Sofia slapped my leg and Catherine winked.

"Cath, I'll meet you at home," Sofia said, standing up shaking her head at us as she walked out.

"At home? Has she moved in?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Don't be smart with me, now come on, we're going for breakfast," Cath said turning her computer off and standing up.

Catherine took me to Pancake Heaven, I knew she was up to something by her shit eating grin that she had been sporting since we left the lab.

"What's going on? What are you up to?" I asked suspiciously.

"Who says anything is going on?" Catherine feigned innocence.

"Bullshit, I know that look, you are so up to something, spill," I couldn't help smiling along with her.

"Nice place huh, you come here often?" Catherine looked around. It dawned on me that the only person I bought here other than Lindsay is Natalia.

"Yeah, Linds and I come here all the time, you know that," I said, looking around. I looked over at the table where Natalia and I had sat all that time ago, and my jaw dropped.

"Surprise," Catherine said, then stood up and left. I walked over to Natalia and sat down opposite her, still not believing that she was here.

"Nat, what are you doing here?" I whispered, taking her hand and squeezing it, to make sure she was real.

"Hey baby, thought I'd come and visit. Well, Cath rang and asked me to, why didn't you tell me about you and Sara?" Natalia smiled, making my body melt.

"I didn't want you to worry about it, I mean; you've got your own life to live. Is Calleigh here with you?" I looked around for the gorgeous blonde.

"No," Nat said quietly, looking down at the menu, avoiding my eyes.

"Nat? You and Cal are ok aren't you?" I put my hand over the menu, forcing her to look at me.

"No. Cal and I split up ages ago; I didn't want to tell you. I know what you're like and I wanted you and Sara to have to best chance possible."

"I'm sorry to hear that Nat, I know how much you loved her. What happened if you don't mind me asking?" I said, torn on whether to be happy or sad.

"Realised it wasn't going to work, Calleigh tried her best, but I felt like I was betraying someone every time I was with her," Natalia said softly, looking out the window.

"Who were you betraying Talia?"

"Myself. I wasn't being true to myself. Listen, wanna take a walk?" I nodded and stood up, holding out my hand for her to take.

AN: How should I end it?? All ideas welcome... 


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